(Note: I'm posting this one without editing it, as I'm a bit too tired for that at the moment. Hopefully this makes sense in the time until I'm able to get back online and check it over while being more awake. *grins*)
Needles.
Ten of them were stuck into my right breast tonight in the area surrounding my aerola.
To be more precise, they were slid in, going into the skin and out. In some situations, they went in the skin, out again, over a needle, and then back in.
And it was all done for fun.
Master and I met at the Sanctuary BDSM club tonight after I had a great afternoon with my kids. The first thing we did was watch an okay presentation on spanking by some guy (who's apparently somewhat famous for being a good spanker) demonstrate on his extremely attractive (and quite a bit younger) assistant. Spanking is, to me, punishment. It can be pleasurable if done as punishment, but, for me, I don't like getting spanked in and of itself. As I've mentioned before, I'm a bit of a masochist but not a pain slut, meaning I sometimes get a kick out of being punished or out of my Owner unexpectedly hurting me for no good reason. In contrast, planned pain doesn't excite me, so the presentation on spanking wasn't a huge thrill. Master didn't find it exciting, either.
Afterward, however, we were talking with Master G and his slave, who is wonderful and also happens to be blind. (Master is great friends with Master G, and there's a good chance we're going to have Thanksgiving dinner at their house, by the way.)
Well, to my surprise, Master G suddenly told me that my Master had told him I wanted to experiment with needles, and he wondered if I wanted to give it a try tonight. I responded with a mix of excitement and nervousness that came out as silly anxiety, which concerned Master G until he realized it was just my way of expressing my desire to do something exciting like that.
He used surgical needles, which he explained come in six different diameters. Tonight he only used the two smallest, which was enough for me. Well, at first. After he put ten in me, I was starting to feel rather nice about life and the universe, and I asked Master if he could keep putting them in. Master, however, said ten was enough for my first time because I'd be driving home.
See, the reason people put needles in themselves is for the endorphin rush which happens after they pierce the skin.
I kept the needles in my skin for awhile and wandered around, watching other people and talking a bit. Eventually, though, my movement caused one to start to come loose, so Master had Master G remove all of them.
And that's when my endorphin rush really kicked in. I could still function and have a good conversation, but I was buzzing quite well in a way that took a good half hour to an hour to fully resolve itself.
During my rush I felt my wolf side starting to come out rather strongly, and I realized finally why Native Americans use piercing as a way of achieving shamanic ecstacy for trance states.
Speaking of shamanic work, I moved my shamanic tools over from Mistress's house and examined them last night and today. I've been feeling rather strongly toward getting back into my shamanic practicing and meditation.
It's weird how my life took such a strange turn when I got hooked on SecondLife early last year. Before then, I exercised regularly, I meditated almost every day, I experienced shamanic trance journeys as a wolf several times a week, and I was hard at work on my novel.
Now that I'm with Master, all of those things may be back in my life on a regular basis. I'm already exercising again. I journeyed with another shaman online recently (and we visited our cubs and ... oh, heck. Now trying to explain that in this post would be a bit too much, so I'll save it for next time).
And my novel's coming along again. After writing 12 chapters, I have only three to go. And yet, I stopped at that point more than a year ago because I wasn't happy with the way the novel was going, and I lost my drive. Tonight, however, my editor and shamanic friend (more about him later) looked over what I had written the last few days, and his suggestions have totally revitalized the end of the novel in such a way that ... I think the novel will be ready for publishing on Kindle within six months. *bounces in excitement*
Oh, and, yeah, it's a female werewolf novel. In case you hadn't already guessed. *chuckles*
It would be remarkably nice if the novel does well enough to provide me an income independent of Master's providing for me just so I could set up a college fund for my kids. That's the biggest concern I have regarding being so dependent on Master -- the fact that I've got nothing to fall back on, and neither does my family, if things go sour here for some reason.
Master keeps telling me he's nuts about me and has long-term plans for me, which brings me a lot of comfort. He is, however, naturally already getting jealous of the time I'm not here, as I am his property. This week I didn't see that much of him, to be honest. Tuesday I spent several hours with Mistress. Wednesday I was with my kids and ...
Okay ... the kids. Fantastic day on Wednesday. I did everything with them, starting at picking them up from school and ending only after kissing my dear daughter goodnight. Most of the day was with my daughter, actually. Highlights include us making Indian Fry Bread together (which everybody thought was extremely yummy) to having my daughter read to me about Annie Oakley, to giving my daughter her bath and reading a bedtime story to her, and finally to making snacks by shaping soft cheese into prey animals and sprinkling them with shredded cheese for "fur" (with a mouse for my daughterwho believes she's a cat and a sheep for my son, who felt very in touch with Dragon spirit that night).
Oh, and, yeah, my son speaks to spirits, like I do. And my daughter is very certain she's a cat in a human body, just like I was when I was her age (except it wasn't a cat for me). I talked with Alice for awhile Wednesday to make sure she knows that she's not alone, and that I understand and believe her entirely when she says she feels spiritually she's not human. And I talked to my son a very long time about how he's been so disruptive lately, and how I need to help him learn to meditate because possible the energy from Dragon spirit is overwhelming him and getting out of control in his life, causing him to do things that have gotten him suspended from school lately (such as kicking another student and arguing with a teacher).
Oh, I'm sure a lot of you think I'm a total flake after reading that last paragraph, and so be it. It's about time I finally went over my unusual spiritual experiences and beliefs, but I'll save that for my next posting. Those beliefs did lead me to being a slave, so they're actually pertinent to this whole blog, so I figure they're definitely worth talking about here.
Anyway, so I hardly saw Master on Wednesday, and on Thursday I spent most of the day with Mistress.
*grins*
Remember I said I expected the bed to get ruffled at her house? Boy, did it ever!!! At one point we were talking casually, and I half jokingly said, "I could really use some sex," and she ordered me into the bedroom and ... we ... wow! It was the best damn fucking I've had in a LONG time (if not ever). It began with a wonderful little dilator, and then Mistress got a cock for me and told me to ride it on top of her, and after I came hard (screaming so loud I'm shocked the neighbors didn't complain), I licked and sucked Mistress's clitty for a long time, and, well ... that's just a brief description of some of what we did. And as good as the sex was, the cuddling afterward was wonderfully beautiful. I felt I could have laid with her forever and just fallen asleep joyfully in her arms.
Technically, however, I came over there to clean up her house and pack up my car, which I did. But Mistress and I really wanted to see each other, so I really took my time doing the work.
*sighs*
I hated leaving Mistress, but I was getting a nagging feeling that Master wanted me back. Sure enough, he did. When I returned, I could tell he clearly didn't expect me to spend all day over at Mistress's house, but instead just thought I'd be gone a few hours.
I need to be with Master. But I want to be with Mistress.
I wish I could be with Mistress more. And maybe, if we're lucky, I will be.
But with me being with my kids one and a half days a week, I don't think Master will want me to spend much time with Mistress, even though Mistress said he agreed she would be my partial owner.
We'll see.
La kajira!
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