My dreams have been fulfilled. Everything I was looking for when I decided to follow the path of consensual slavery has arrived. I’ve hit the big time as far as being a consensual slave goes.
I’m owned. Truly and completely now. Owned.
Master called me to kneel at his feet yesterday and bade me look him in the eyes. Then he told me firmly and calmly, “I don’t want you to ever worry about money again. I take care of my property. I will be fully responsible for you from now on. I will provide for your children’s expenses. I will pay for your insurance. I will give you the money you need to survive. You are mine.”
I stared at him with shock. Tears formed in my eyes. And I thrust myself forward and hugged him for a very long time while he hugged me back.
And I looked into his eyes and told him I loved him and thanked him over and over.
This is my life now. Full time.
I’m a slave.
And I love it.
Today we registered for a coming Master/slave regional conference in Phoenix we’ll be attending in January. We’ll be flying out together and staying for four days. We went over the list of activities and classes that will be taught. It’s incredible.
The conference is called the Southwest Leather Conference. You can find out about it here. http://www.southwestleather.org/swlchome/index.php
Among other events there, he and I will both be taking part in something known as the “Dance of Souls.” Our skin will be pierced, then fishing line will be thread through to hold small bells onto our skin.
And we will dance a wild frenzy of ecstacy.
It sounds horrible. I remember when I was invited to see a Sun Dance on the Northern Cheyenne Indian Reservation years ago and I saw somebody who was hanging from the ceiling with their weight suspended from hooks through their flesh. (At least, that’s what it looked like they were doing). I shuddered at the sight and never forgot it, thinking such was something I could never stand to do for any reason.
Now I’m going to be experiencing a version of it.
I expect it will be nothing short of a euphoria made from pain and pleasure combined. I was told by Master (who has done it before) that it is a spiritual experience beyond words.
Things are continuing to go wonderfully here. Oh, I’m making mistakes, of course. There’s so much to learn. Everything has its place and is done in a particular way.
And the house is so big. It took me almost two hours just to clean Master’s bathroom yesterday, and equally long to clean Mistress’s.
But Master is wonderfully collected about making sure I know what I’m doing wrong so I can learn from it.
M’Lady isn’t always so kind. Such as tonight, during dinner. I cooked Lime Shrimp with Pasta. And I overcooked the shrimp, and M’Lady said it was “awful.”
And she hated the chicken pot pie I made for her a couple of days ago, even though everybody else I’ve made it for has loved it. And she snaps at me if I ever leave a room without turning off the lights, or for eating with the bowl in my lap while I was on the couch instead of leaning forward uncomfortably to eat from the table. And so on.
But although M’Lady is a bit caustic at times, she’s still a wonderful, loving woman at heart, and I love serving her as well.
And she did like the sauce and the pasta tonight enough to have a large dose of seconds. Just without the shrimp. Which I thought were quite yummy (I thought the texture accented the pasta perfectly), but it’s not my opinion that counts, of course.
M’Lady is a notoriously picky eater, by the way. She’s quite picky about everything! But, hey, that’s part of my life now, and if she gets picky, then I just make sure I pay extra care to the details!
It’s not just M’Lady who corrects me, of course.
Saturday night at the Sanctuary BDSM club, Master decided it was time for us to go home, and he ordered me to get our coats and my purse. As I picked up my purse, I saw a hand puppet of a witch inside (I had put it there and forgot), and I took it out and started doing improv puppetry, playing up the old witch’s personalty to the hilt while interacting with the people around me to everybody’s merriment. Curious at hearing a burst of laughter coming from the coat room, Master walked in to see the witch puppet (with me controlling it) standing on the bald head of a different Master, then sliding off onto his shoulder while saying, “Hey! Did you just wax that thing?” In response, Master grabbed my ponytail and pulled me hard to the ground with a very disapproving glare, and we left very quickly.
Master today told me that although everybody was enjoying it, I got lucky because a lot of people at the club, particularly dominants would not have liked a slave mocking them, even with a puppet. Also, he said he had told me to get the coats so we could leave, and instead he found me playing with a puppet.
I’ve learned a lesson, and a quick one. And I won’t forget it. And he said that’s what’s important – not that I made the mistake, but that I don’t do it again.
Things are serious now. But it’s my life, and it’s perfect for me.
*sighs and looks outside at the piled up snow*
I was going to take my kids Trick or Treating tonight at a local high school’s pre-Halloween event. I’ve taken them every year since they were infants, and I really wanted to do it again this year, but they’re both going with friends Halloween night, and so tonight at this event was my one chance.
Unfortunately, a a blizzard hit and there’s currently about 20 inches of snow on the ground (more or less), and it was canceled.
It’s going to be weird not going with my kids Trick or Treating this year but ... they’re finally old enough to go with friends by themselves. *sighs* They’re only seven and 10, but they’re growing up, and that’s both happy and sad in different ways.
Sunday with them was great. We went to the zoo together and had a blast, and my daughter and I did her homework together for hours.
Knowing Master will be my benefactor gives me such great peace because I know I don’t have to worry anymore about the awful job market. I’ve found my place. And my kids will be cared for as needed.
And I’ll be able to help my ex by taking care of them while my ex is in school if needed.
I’ll be able to be there for them when they need me. *smiles*
Master was going to be gone, too. Tonight, he was going to assist with a discussion group at the Sanctuary BDSM club for new people into the lifestyle.
As a result, we curled up together and watched a special about werewolves on the History Channel.
So far, he hasn’t actually played with me yet (BDSM-wise, that is), despite the fact he repeatedly says he’s a sadist, and he has a whole basement full of toys (along with a decade of experience). He told me tonight I’m still on a “honeymoon.”
I’m so tempted to tell him I recently realized I’m a bit of a masochist. But ... would I be spoiling the true effect of having him only do it when I don’t want it by telling him? Hmmm ...
And on that note, I think I’ll post this, and go see if Master might want to ... talk ... about something on my mind.
*bites my lip nervously and grins*
La kajira!
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